Joining Ginny this week for the knit along since I have been somewhat productive and motivated the last few weeks. All I needed was some rainbow yarn to motivate me to create some new baby hats for some of the new babies that are coming into the world in my circle of friends and neighbors. I am tempted to keep them for my babe as well, but it will be more fun to knit for him or her once I know if baby is a him or her. Any baby can wear a rainbow though, right. Knitting without patterns and with happy yarn boosted my spirits.
Right now I am reading positive birthing stories from Ina May's Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May's Guide To Childbirth to get my mind prepared for giving birth again in about 6 weeks from now. Spiritual Midwifery was the first book I bought when I found out I was pregnant with my eldest. I was only 19 at the time and was very scared and wasn't getting any positive energy from anyone at the time about the baby. Spiritual Midwifery was like water to my thirsty spirit, it made me feel positive and excited for motherhood and happy to be pregnant. I know the language and ideas are very hippie and out there, but so are my current midwives and I love them. They give me nothing but positive thoughts and energy despite the difficult pregnancy I have had this time around. I will hold onto this book until I am a grandmother, it is beautiful and positive like a good friend.
I am trying to feel positive about the birth. Trying to get my body out of anemia before the birth and trying to savor the last few weeks of this pregnancy which will be my last,and looking forward to the future instead of struggling through the moment.
Speaking of the future... I am also reading a book by a local Oregon woman called To The Woods: Sinking Roots, Living Lightly, and Finding True Home by Evelyn Searle Hess. Is about a woman and her husband who leave city life to live in the woods starting pretty much from scratch, renting out their home in the city to live in a run down trailer on the nursery that they own.
Ben and I have had this same dream for years. To own land and start small with a trailer and eventually build a simple home. It is very inspiring. Evelyn was in her 50's when she moved out to the woods, so that gives me comfort that it isn't too late for us to still fulfill that dream.
We are hoping to relocate in the very near future. Due to financial hardship and absolutely no savings, and our 3rd child to be born in the next month owning land and building a home is a far away dream. But we would like to get out of the city and find a house to rent, some where the kids could play outside and we could see the stars at night. Our daughter hits the gap between Elementary School and Middle School this summer and I think it would be an ideal time for us to relocate. I am so in a nesting phase where I just wish we had a home where our children can grow up, a place to call our own, no matter how humble it may be. We are used to living on very little, and we take pleasure in being outdoors in this beautiful state. Oh to be able to hike in one's own back yard.... but I will miss bagpipe playing unicyclists riding by my window,electric bike parades and mobs of drunken folk dressed like Santa running down the street.