I am not sad to say goodbye to 2014. It was probably my hardest year yet and after several not so great years I have reached my breaking point. I need to make some major changes,a fresh start.
Chronic stress and putting myself last has taken a serious toll, I tried to push through the last several years, though depression, isolation, exhaustion and chronic health issues. I put myself last for so long that I am now paying the consequences and dealing with an autoimmune condition.
In a span of three years I have lost the ability to look forward to things as I once did. I guess that is just part of being in a funk. It is really hard to get out of once your in it, especially with out any help. I lost the motivation to pursue my dreams and goals and had been living day by day, some times just barely making it through the day.
But on a bright note, I feel things are finally starting to look up. I am regaining my motivation to make the changes.and some really major changes are going to need to happen this year. I have an issue with change in the past, avoiding it at all costs. Even when things are not working and I am miserable, I just suck it up an barrel through. That is no way to live.
I am welcoming the new year and a new way of looking at my life. I don't have to constantly sacrifice myself for my family. I don't have to always put myself last.
I am looking forward to change, at last.