I have been pretty quiet at this space lately. Unfortunately I haven't been feeling well. Thankfully I am not vomiting constantly anymore, just feeling really exhausted and out of breath all the time. Hopefully it is just an iron deficiency( partly due to major illness in beginning of pregnancy and being a vegetarian). I am still waiting to hear back from my midwives about my blood test results. I started taking Floradix and drinking Nettle tea to boost my iron, I have felt a little better since doing so. This pregnancy has been so different that with my other two. I loved being pregnant and felt great with them(after early pregnancy morning sickness) I was very active and hiked up until the day of giving birth. I am so out of shape this time I am out of breath after making my bed and vacuuming the floor.
I don't like feeling helpless and out of control. I don't like relying on my husband to do the work that I would like to be able to do myself around the house.
The holiday season has added a new amount of stress as well. Unemployment has hit my family for the second time in two years. Coming up with money for rent and bills and food is hard enough, thinking about how we will get extra money for holiday gifts is completely overwhelming. I just don't have the energy to make a bunch of gifts this year either. I wish I did.
So I am feeling badly, for our situation and angry with holiday expectations. I wish the holidays wasn't so hard on people. I know I am not alone and that there are many families that are having an ever harder time that we are. Things don't matter, the people in our life that we love is what matters and spending time with them. But still I feel like I am letting my children down and I hate that. I feel guilty that I didn't get the advent calendar that I worked so hard on last year up until today, the 6th. That is silly I know, and really doesn't matter, but still makes me feel inadequate.I don't think my pregnant mind is working rationally either.
Sorry for my rant. I normally don't like to complain or get into super personal problems on my blog , but I think I just really needed to get this off my mind. Hope you understand.
I don't want end on a negative note, so for a huge boost of positive energy and little reminder to how beautiful and amazing life can be check out: This